White people don’t like being told that stuff’s off limits to us.
At least that’s my theory for why this question is still being asked:
White Person: ”If Black people can just throw the N-word around all the time, why is it not okay for White people to use that word?”
So in as concise a way as possible, I want to answer this question as clearly as I can for all the White people still asking it.
4 Reasons White People Can’t Use the N-Word (No Matter What Black Folks are Doing)
1. We lost the privilege. You know that whole, you know, 600 year time period when White people were buying and selling Black people as chattel? Well, remember how that whole system was enforced by a violent system of repression whereby Black slaves who did not act the way the White folks wanted them to were beaten and murdered? Oh, and remember that time after slavery when Black people were locked in a system called Jim Crow that used a similar fear of violence and repression to keep Black people in “their place?” Well, in the midst of all that shit, there was a word invented by White people as a pejorative for Black folks. It was used just about every time a Black person was whipped, chained, beaten, insulted, spit upon, raped, lynched, or otherwise humiliated and mistreated by White folks.
Thus, I don’t care how much White folks want to use that word. I don’t care how unfair you think it is that someone else gets to use it when we don’t. Our people gave up the privilege to use that word the moment we invented it as a tool of oppression.
2. Why the hell should we get a say in the conversation about that word? There is a lively debate in African American communities between those who think it’s time to “Bury the N-Word” and those who think it can be reclaimed as a word of camaraderie and brotherhood/sisterhood.
That is a healthy conversation, and it’s a part of a long history of marginalized communities attempting to “reclaim” words that were once oppressive. No matter how long that conversation goes on in Black communities, though, White people do not get to take part. I’m sorry. As the ones from whom the word of violence and oppression must be reclaimed, we do not get to have a word in that conversation. Plain and simple.
3. Why should everything be in bounds to us? The question being asked is, in essence, the epitome of White Privilege. As White folks, we tend to think that every door should be open to us, every conversation should be ours, every space should welcome us. We think this way because, when it comes to racialized spaces, that tends to be the case. We have the privilege of having our voices heard and our presence recognized in just about every space there is. Thus, we HATE IT when we are told that we are not actually welcome in a conversation. But here’s what we need to understand: we’re the only people that get the privilege of access to whatever racialized space we want. White Women can hopefully begin to understand this when you think about the ways in which you are denied voice and space by dominant Men, but White people need to understand this. Just because we are not welcome to use one word in the English language does not mean that we are being discriminated against. It means that we, rightfully, need to shut up and listen.
4. It’s not, in fact, a double standard. It’s a standard:
So . . . White people . . . Can we put this to rest?
Jamie,
I enjoy reading your blog from time to time and I believe your words are deeply needed. The fabric of our society today consists of many tears, rips and burns from our history. Countless genocides have been committed in the name of religion, indifference and ignorance which have ultimately left residual psychological harm. Although the physical injustices and public displays of hate are no longer as visible as they once were, the psychological damage to each individual (regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, age, occupation…) still exists. Using words such as the n-word not only marginalizes individuals, but attacks the growth and development we as a society have been working towards.
Words are powerful, and they exist because mankind has created them. No matter how mankind may evolve, the significance of particular words will always hold a heavy weight. Whether the ending of the word has shifted from “ger” to “gga” the root of the word, and its impact on history, doesn’t disappear.
And although I’m sad to admit the truth, it’s a fact that many Caucasian/white people hold a level of privilege, or entitlement over the rest of the world. Through my eyes I’ve seen the level of entitlement many Caucasians hold over others because of their melanin content. White individuals believing they have the authority, or power to say what they wish (including the n-word) and over whom they wish is both astonishing and baffling.
In the end I believe that words such as this word would be best remembered, but never used. I am a white male, and so I hold no governance over those who identify themselves as “African American” or “Black” — let alone, do I hold any control of people who are described as being “white, brown or yellow.”
And with that acknowledgment I may be ignorant to the reasons why anyone, of any race, would continue the use of this word. It may be of significance, or healing that this word needs to be continued. Yet, the damage and pain this word has caused throughout history commands that I take a personal vow to eradicate this word from my own vocabulary. There is little reason as to why this word should ever be iterated again – especially by those naive or unassociated by its meaning.
[...] seems to go unchecked an awful lot. So going along with my posts on White people using the “n-word” and on the word “bitch,” here goes my [...]
I’ve been saying this for years, but it’s refreshing to see someone white actually getting it. And by the way you stated it so succintly that I couldn’t have put it any better myself. Thanks for being a much needed voice for the African American community and proving that there are some white people out there who actually give a shit about what we go through on a daily basis. Bravo!
Unfortunately you speak to the heart of the matter. White folks have heard people of Color saying these things for years, but we, on the whole, choose not to listen. It is sad that it isn’t until a White person says it that White folks manage to hear it.
Thank you for your kind comment!
In Peace.
[...] 5. I get really tired of the conversation with White folks about why they can’t use the N-Word when Black people can, so I can’t imagine how Black people feel about this “injustice.” Just the other day I tried to explain to a White woman why it is absurd to hope that one day her White son would be able to use that word with his Black friends. In that argument, I brought up the piece that comes in at number 5: 4 Reasons White People Can’t Use the N-Word (No Matter What Black Folks are Doing). [...]
[...] usually asks why Black folks are allowed to use the “n word” but he’s not (read my response here). Then a White young person usually asks, “How do you feel about Affirmative Action? [...]
Do you agree that if a white person uses the n word they should be violently attacked? I have seen this happen many times growing up and living in Baltimore. I get called honkey and cracker on a daily basis and just let it roll off my shoulder because I know we live in a world that will always be inhabited by rude, ingnorant people. I believe that people should just grow up and stop letting words hurt them. I am not so arronagont to believe that I “own” a certain word and can stop a certain group of people from using it. It’s people like that justify a violence for using a couple of taboo words.
I do not believe that any person ever should be violently attacked for any reason. That said, you seem to be implying that a White person calling a Black person the N-word is the same thing as a Black person calling a White person a honkey or cracker. While the latter is definitely rude and bigoted, it is by NO means the same thing. There is no comparable word that a White person can be called by a Black person because there is no comparable history of violence and oppression of White people at the hands of Black people.
White people have NO business saying to Black people that they should “grow up and stop letting words hurt them” when we have no way of contextualizing and understanding the violence, repression, and oppression that is carried in those 6 simple letters.
This is reflective of one of the major misunderstandings of racism that White people push in our society: that racism is simply disliking or mistreating someone because of the color of their skin. Racism, in fact, is something much bigger than that. Racism in the United States (and many other contexts) describes a system of oppression whereby White people have systematically oppressed and denied the humanity, agency, and rights of people of Color. Interpersonal mistreatment because of skin color is a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.
I honestly do believe that that any racial slur is equal but your bias is apparent. I didn’t say just black people should grow up, everyone needs to learn when you let words invoke anger you are giving power to those words. I not sure but I thought that treating someone differently based upon race was the definition racism. Reacting with anger or violence whenever a white person uses the nword but not when a black person does is racist.
Justin,
To demonstrate the absurdity of claiming that all racial slurs are the same, let me ask you a question:
Would it be the same thing for a Black man living in bondage to call an overseer a “cracker” as it would be for the overseer to call that Black man the N-word?
It’s an issue of power! The word cracker even stems from power, as it refers to the man who cracks the whip! In the words of Louis CK, when we’re called “cracker,” we should likely be reacting like this:
“Ruined my day . . . Bringing me back to owning land and people.”
To say that racism is simply treating someone differently because of their race removes all of the words connection to systems of power and oppression. If that’s all it were, racism wouldn’t really be that bad of a thing. It would be comparable to any other insult – calling someone the N-word and calling someone an asshole would be the same thing. But they’re not the same thing because one happens within the context of a system of oppression of Black people at the hands of White people.
To simply water it down to no different than any other form of disrespect is really quite dangerous and is, in fact, a major obstacle in overcoming the true racism that is built into this country’s foundations.
Why do African Americans want to hear that word at all? Not just from white people but themselves? It seems idiotic and disrespectful to call your friend a name one that was your ancestors last word they heard before they were murdered.
There is a vibrant conversation about that word (see number 2) within African American communities, and it is not the place of White folks (or anyone other than African Americans and Blacks) to dictate how that conversation should look.
Your mind and heart are both beautifully informed, cultured, acknowledging, understanding, open-minded, educated and awesome. Bravo!
Thank you for the incredibly kind words.
A lot can be said about this thing. Thing is, it is history. Not to be clinged to, but to be learned from. Black and white people should just let it go. People using the N word today, are not using it in the context of history. People in general, should just “forget” the word, black people also. They keep it alive, forcing their role unto the rest of the world as victims. Let…it…go!
Now, I don’t live in the US, so I have little to no knowledge on how it is there. But here where I live in Europe, white people have to walk on egg-shells around coloured people, because every tiny bit of harsh words against a coloured person, gets thrown up as being racist. If I tell a coloured kid in the mall to shut up because they are loud and makes a general disturbance, the mom don’t tell me to mind my own business, no, I am automatically racist because I said it to someone not my skin-colour. In my country, the biggest racist people, are the coloured population. White people can be prosecuted for racism, coloured people can not, now, hows that for justice, because of former oppression of their ancestors. In my book, that is hypocritical. This is because of the role of coloured people always being the victims, in their mind, and how they force it upon the rest of us.
I apologises for any grammar incorrectness, not my native language. And, my meaning may get lost in translation so to speak. I have nothing against coloured people, my family is multi-ethnic (chinese, whites, pakistans, turkish) I am just tired of certain groups in the coloured population, justifying their own racism against white people because; “they must hate us, so we must hate them mentality.”
Peace out from Scandinavia.
Nobody uses the word colored anymore..start with that.
It’s not that we don’t like be told that “stuff’s off limits to us,” you self-hating eunuch. We dislike the hypocritical privilege blacks enjoy in this country. It seems they can see pretty much whatever they want with impunity.
Your statement would be laughable if not so terribly dangerous. There is not a single measure by which Black people have privileges not enjoyed by White folks. It terrifies me to realize that there are folks such as yourself who remain willfully blind to the systems of oppression and inequality in which we live.
I’m a white guy, so as Louis CK says – I really don’t have much to complain about.
Just some open questions here. I’m not really trying to make a statement one way or another but I’m curious as to the answers to these questions.
There are many types of slurs. Racial, religious, homophobic, et cetera. Why do you think this is the only word that fits under that umbrella that is considered “alright” for the people it identifies to say it, and no one else?
The word “faggot” is extremely hurtful and derogatory towards gay people. Somehow they are not inclined to walk around and call each other that word! I’ve also never heard a gay musician use it in their music in the way I am describing.
The same with other very malicious language that has been used to describe groups of people, visible minorities… I haven’t seen anyone using that language either.
Is the answer that the n-word isn’t on the same level as other slurs, and that makes it different and okay? Is the answer purely cultural, and people should just back off and say whatever, they can say what they want?
Think about it if you were in the shoes of a visible minority. In the past, for many years, there was a horrible word used towards you and your people. What would make you want to use it? Is there a psychological satisfaction that comes from “reclaiming” a word for yourself?
The word originated as a neutral term describing black people, but not by black people. However, the intragroup usage of the word has a totally different context than the intergroup usage.
I love and enjoy hip-hop and rap music, and the culture surrounding it. Can I sing along to all the lyrics of my favourite songs in diverse company? Should I be able to? Why or why not?
Jonah, you pose some tough questions here, and know that my responses are more likely than not reflective of my learnings from people who are experiencing oppression and wrestling with these. I cannot speak for anyone but myself, and I come from a lot of privilege.
That said, Black people reclaiming the N-word is not the only example of oppressed and marginalized people reclaiming words that were used as pejoratives against them. You claim that you do not hear lesbian and gay folks using the term “faggot” within and amongst themselves. Just because you haven’t heard it doesn’t mean that there isn’t a lively debate in LGBTQ circles about the possibility of reclaiming the word. Check out this piece for some commentary on that: http://www.gaylesbiantimes.com/?id=10704
Similarly, many in LGBTQ communities have worked hard over the last 20 years to “reclaim” the word Queer, turning it from a pejorative to a loving umbrella term used to describe folks who don’t identify as straight or who fall outside of traditional gender norms.
I could offer you endless examples of other groups doing this over time, but for the sake of brevity, know that this is a complex debate.
But here’s the deal. As I say in the piece, no matter how long the debate goes on, those whose people created the word as a hurtful slur do not get to participate in that debate and that discussion. It is not ours to have.
The other struggle that I have in your post is the idea that it is possible for someone who has not experienced a certain type of oppression to ever put themselves in the shoes of someone who has. I don’t think it’s possible, and to do so can lead to a dangerous slippery slope of assuming we understand an oppression that we can never understand. Sure, we can empathize to the best of our ability, but we can never fully understand. Thus, it doesn’t matter what I think about whether certain words should be used if I try to put myself in the shoes of an oppressed person.
To be clear, though, the N-word did NOT begin as a neutral word. It was a transformation of the word “Negro” that was created for the sole purpose of oppression.
Lastly, I, too, enjoy some rap and a lot of Hip Hop. Some of my favorite artists use the N-word. However, I do not think it is ever my place to sing along and to use all of the words that they use. It is simply not my place.