“Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls” – Racism or Critical Cultural Commentary?
There is a meme sensation sweeping the internet!! It all started with “Shit Girls Say.” The concept is that someone (often those who are not a member of the group who is being mocked) mocks the things that a group of people stereotypically say. Simple enough . . . and sometimes HILARIOUS.
We’ve got Shit Yogis Say, Shit Girls Say to Gay Guys, Shit Rednecks Say (“Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!”), Shit White Feminists Say, and Shit Guys Don’t Say (or guys not named Jamie Utt). The meme has had the power to do some great mocking and cultural commentary and to point out some important realities. For instance, Shit Everybody Says to Rape Victims and Part II (WARNING, CAN BE TRIGGERING TO SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE) does a fantastic job of highlighting the ways that survivors of sexual violence are often blamed, shamed, and ignored when they seek help after their trauma.
One of the most popular of these videos is Shit White Girls Say . . . To Black Girls:
This particular take on the meme caused the internet (and particularly the Twitterverse) to EXPLODE. Charges of racism were thrown at the video’s creator, comedian and blogger Franchesca Ramsey. In response, people tried to explain how this is not racism but in fact is trying to highlight the type of racism that Black Women must deal with every day coming from White Women.
Gift Giving and Gender Socialization
One thing I will never understand is how completely wed so many of us are to traditional gender norms, particularly in the way we raise children. Even progressive folks who would never say “a woman’s place is in the kitchen” freak out when a little boy is in a pink outfit or when a little girl is given a GI Joe instead of a Barbie.
This is never more frustrating to me than during the holidays. My nieces and nephew (on another note, is there a gender-neutral term for my sibling’s children?) are awesome but slightly spoiled. Each and every family member showers them in gifts to the point that they can’t decide what to play with . . . there are too many options. Some of these gifts are awesomely-gender-neutral like the shopping carts that the kids (boys and girls alike) loved to fill with toys and push around the house. Others were as gendered as you can get (also note their outfits):
Aiden on His "Cat" Car
Abbie on Her "Princess" Car
At one point, Aiden climbed onto the “Princess” car, and one person in the family exclaimed, “Aiden! You can’t ride that car! That one’s for girls!” Then his older sisters (5 and 3) started echoing the sentiment.
Profitable Objectification: The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
On Tuesday, 10.3 million people were united in a common cause, wrapped in attention around one very important event. Were 10.3 million in the streets in an #Occupy or Tea Party show of people power? Were they watching Obama give a speech about the progress of a 10-year debacle in Afghanistan? Were they participating in a national debate about the financial crisis and its effect on the average family?
No. They were watching this:
Please note the irony of the music choice beginning at 0:38 of the video.
I hadn’t actually realized that this event was taking place until I logged into Twitter and saw the following tweet posted by my young cousin:
Though the young women who tweeted this are clearly being sarcastic, what caught my eye is that they are very much paying attention. And how can anyone (but particularly young women) pay attention to this and not be affected by it!?
In the words of Victoria’s Secret Casting Director John Pfeiffer, “There is a very clear Victoria’s Secret woman. They all have the self-confidence, expressiveness, joy, and womanliness.” Wait . . . what? Womanliness? What women does he know!? Well, it’s clear what women he knows.
But that show is in now way reflective of the “womanliness” I know and value. The women in my life don’t look like the women in this parade. The women in this parade are, by in large, unhealthy, and they project onto women everywhere a tiny box of beauty into which the show says, “You must fit.”
CFW Published in The Good Men Project
Change From Within’s getting a little national notoriety! My blog from this summer, A Letter to Baby Jett, was republished by the The Good Men Project! Visit their site, and see my posting here!
On Bitch: Hyper-Sensitivity or Resisting Oppression?
I hate the word bitch. While I am at it, I hate the word cunt.
It sound sort of silly, hating a word. I guess that it’s just that those words make my skin crawl.
I guess I should clarify further. I hate when men use those words.
I used to say the word a lot. I remember once when I was a first year in college, a female student was being kind of rude to me, so I said, “You don’t have to be a bitch!” She turned to me, her expression exasperated, and said, “No matter how rude I have been to you, you have no right to make me less than yourself. I am not your dog.”
That hit me. From that moment forward, I decided I had no right to use the word.
During an rousing game of Dungeons and Dragons (yes . . . I play . . . on a weekly basis) on Monday in which all of our players are males, our characters (also all male) were fighting a female creature. Multiple times during the game, frustration was expressed with, “That BITCH!” or victory was savored with, “Take That, Bitch!”
The first few times, I didn’t say anything. After allowing my frustration to boil over, I yelled, “PLEASE Don’t Say That Word.” Folks sort of laughed, and we went on with the game. A little later it was said again, and I just shook my head. Another player said, “Just don’t say it, if for nothing else, to avoid THAT.” I responded, “It’s just disrespectful. If I don’t like the word, it’s disrespectful to use it.” The game proceeded with an air of tension.
