How White People Must Respond to The Disgusting, Pathetic #UniteTheRight Rally in Charlottesville

Last night I tweeted that as White folks, we “must resist the urge to simply condemn the racists rather than see the work we need to do in our communities.” This morning, I had a number of White people who had reached out to me through private messages or Facebook or Twitter replies, asking that I provide actionable steps or resources.

I’ll be honest that my initial reaction was a bit of annoyance, as there is so so so much amazing information about this on the internet, and I have written about it quite a bit myself in the past, but then I realized that my annoyance was simple hypocrisy. If I lean into that annoyance, I am doing exactly the opposite of what I just tweeted that we as White people need to do: work in our own communities to move other White folks toward racial justice action.


I know that many of us as White folks for quite some time have felt moved, many by the #BlackLivesMatter movement’s calls for both systemic and interpersonal transformation and still more by a deep concern for the literal and rhetorical violence from which Donald Trump’s campaign and presidency has pulled the hood.

And we need to recognize that our shock and dismay and tears and prayers, while perhaps reflective of an important emotional concern, are not enough if we are not moved to action. While we are shocked, most people of Color know that this is simply how this country has always been.

So what would it mean for us to take action. Well, below are a few ideas. While in a numerical list, these ought not necessarily happen in any linear order. Instead, they ought to be a process of reflection and self work and action all bound up in complexity.

1. We must transform ourselves.

The moment that we decide we aren’t part of the problem, we are the problem. Thus, our work must always be bound up in praxis, that constant process of reflection, engagement with theory, and action. So here are a few ways we can work on ourselves:

  • Understand how White identity development frames can help us move toward more accountability and growth. A great summary is included in Beverly Daniel Tatum’s Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?
  • Interrogate the ways that we are bought into Whiteness as a system of oppression. Recognize that Whiteness is different than White people and that we have a responsibility to change our relationship to this fundamentally oppressive and violent social construction so that we can act accountably.
  • We need to educate ourselves differently. We need to commit ourselves to listening to people of Color’s truths about our country and ourselves, and we need to diversify our media consumption. There are literally tons of articles on the internet with people of Color asking quite specific things of us. There’s even a company that will allow you to support Black Femme leadership while learning what you can do to realize change!
  • Reflect on the actions we take that contribute to racial violence, such as relying exclusively on police as the problem solvers of our communities when so many of our concerns are bound up in racially ideology.
  • When we commit to changing ourselves, to addressing our own investments in racism, Whiteness, and White supremacy, we make it possible to act for racial justice in ways that reduce the unintended harm that comes from us simply acting without working to address our own racial baggage.

2. We need to invest in White people that can be moved.

Probably the most important thing that we can do is to find in-roads with White people who are not marching while chanting “blood and soil” but who also aren’t likely to be marching chanting #BlackLivesMatter. We all have those White folks in our lives who simply believe that having a “race neutral” ideology is how we will “get past all this division.” Those are the folks we must invest energy into, and we have the responsibility to be patient and loving (in the firm, agapic sense) in our response. I’ve laid out some steps for how to do that here.

There are also SURJ chapters that are doing fantastic work, and while some of them are sorely lacking in accountability, we ought to take that criticism as a call to further invest in accountability and in the work with fellow White folks rather than as a call to simply shut down. If our organizations like SURJ are doing the proper work of allying ourselves to people of Color, then we can follow the lead of local folks of Color in what is needed to resist the growing wave of emboldened, angry White racists.

As part of this, we need to forcefully and publicly be condemning the kinds of racist violence that are represented in last night’s march in Charlottesville, but we also need to recognize that we are not so very removed from that reality. This country is built on the racist violence of settler colonialism and enslavement, a violence which continues to this very moment. When we simply say, “Those White people are the bad ones,” we absolve ourselves of our own complicity in racist systems and in the need to take up difficult but vital conversations with other White folks.

3. Redistribute wealth.

The racist systems in which we live are designed around and built upon property ownership and trans-generational accumulation of wealth, which is why White high school dropouts have more access to wealth than Black college graduates. Thus, while giving money shouldn’t be all we do (philanthropy isn’t activism, y’all), we need to be willing to give (and give in amounts that make us uncomfortable) to organizations, ideally local ones, that are led by people of Color and are doing transformative and radical work to realize change. I’m not talking about giving to TFA because they “help poor kids of Color” or to a local United Way. I’m talking about supporting radical grassroots activism through direct payments and redistribution of wealth to those who are fighting for their very lives. If you’re not sure how to do that, talk to local activists to figure out who is leading the work in intersectional movements for justice and give there. IF you’re still not sure, reach out to me and we can talk.

What are you willing to risk?

Finally, we must recognize that we do not contribute to change when we simply sit in our comfort zone. We must have the courage to risk something. Sometimes that means risking arrest on the front lines of a protest, or sometimes that means risking tension in our relationship with our parents because we call on them to act on the supposed values they raised us with but that are totally out of alignment with how we act in the world. Not everyone’s risk is the same, but if we aren’t willing to risk and to push ourselves past the point of comfort, we aren’t willing to do the work.



“We’re all just different!” How Intersectionality is Being Colonized by White People

Thinking Race...


Working in student affairs on a university campus, I feel like I hear the words “intersectionality” or “intersectional” said out loud at least 20 times a day (no exaggeration). The word is regularly used as a powerful critique from young women of Color about how White feminist staff members don’t seem to understand the violence we enact. Often, though, I hear the term used by White feminist or “social justice focused” staff such as myself.

We use the term in many vague ways. “We really need to be sure our work is intersectional…We need to be more intersectional in how we talk about student identities…Our teaching strategies must be intersectional and culturally responsive.” I don’t use “we” in the royal sense. This is something I do all the time without thinking critically about my meaning.

But what the hell are we even saying when we use the term?

We have…

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Three Things White People’s Love for Get Out Says About the White (Sub)Conscious

Thinking Race...

GetOut1Spoiler Alert – I’m definitely going to be ruining some important details from Jordan Peele’s Get Out if you read this without having seen the film.

We liberal White folks sure do LOVE Jordan Peele’s smash hit Get Out. In a recent conversation with friends, one White person remarked that it’s a “genius use of fiction” that highlights the realities of White liberal racism.

And that’s true. But in the context of the brutal history of Whiteness, the plot of Get Out is not exactly a far fetched idea (for more on the construction and history of Whiteness, see the work of Battalora, Du Bois, Leonardo, Painter, and Rodeiger). And I wonder to what degree that is lost of us as White people as we flock to see the film.

After all, the film depicts a particular type of violence committed by White people…

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Shifting the Center: My Dad’s Simple Condemnation of Sexual Violence

Trigger Warning: Discussion of sexual violence and rape culture

My dad is a wonderful man – kind and quiet and thoughtful and generous. I can say with confidence that in many ways, I am the man I am because of my father.

When I was a teenager, he gave me an uncomfortable number of sex talks – he saw it as his duty as a physician papa to talk about STIs, condoms, waiting until marriage, etc. Years later, though, as we were sitting together in the mountains of Colorado, I asked him about something that was never mentioned in any of those uncomfortable conversations.

“Dad, in all of those times you talked to me about sex, why did we never talk about consent?”

He thought for a moment, then replied, “Well, I assumed it was a given.”

A given.

God, how I wish that consent was a given, something we didn’t need to talk explicitly with young people about. How I wish we lived in a culture of consent where we breathed in consent and respect and accountability in the way that we presently do rape culture.

But we don’t live in that world. As some people come into clearer awareness about sexual violence by hearing of the lenient sentence given a White rapist from Stanford University and through reading the statement from the survivor of that attack, we see once again the ways that our systems bend over backward to protect rapists (particularly White rapists).

But rape culture is about more than a single viral incidence of violence.

Rape culture is evident in the startling fact that every single one of us knows multiple survivors of sexual violence, yet so often we don’t know that we know survivors.

Rape culture is evident in the truth that just as many of us know perpetrators of sexual violence, perpetrators who will never be held accountable in any way.

But this short post isn’t meant to be about rape culture. This post is meant to be about the ways we can shift those around us to speak out, to act, to work to end sexual violence.

I don’t think I have had another conversation with my dad about sexual violence since that short talk about consent many years ago. I have tried; it just never went anywhere. But I realized this morning that even when we weren’t talking, he was listening.

Last night, my dad sent me this email:

Should be in bed at 1145 but became pulled and wanted to read the whole article about the Stanford student written by Lindsey Bever in the Washington Post. Definitely  a reading that shows the pain and struggles of sexual assault. She will never be he same but is trying to make that journey back to some normalcy in her life. Very touching. I have a hard time reading a lot of your posts on Facebook but can really appreciate your passion. Sex always has to be  consensual and if one is impaired one cannot give consent.
Take care Jamie.
Love Dad

His email is simple. It’s not a nuanced condemnation of heteronormative patriarchal violence or a stirring call to action for all men.

And yet I sit here in tears. Because it’s my dad.

And my dad spoke out to condemn sexual violence and to remind me that “sex always has to be consensual.” And my dad did so in the context of the Stanford rapist’s father defending his son in such a public and disgusting manner.

That means more to me than I can ever tell him or ever hope to convey here to my readers.

And his words are a reminder that the center is shifting – more and more men are realizing our responsibility to act, to change ourselves and the ways we view the world, which will in turn change our relationships and our communities.

And as I reflect upon this shift, I am forever grateful to those who lead the movement to force a shift, a movement led primarily by cis-women, Transgender people of all identities, and Gender Non-Conforming people, a movement led by survivors and their allies.

The work is far from finished, but this morning I feel just a little bit more hope than I did yesterday.

And I feel thankful to my dad.

5 Ways to Avoid Common Ally Pitfalls by Learning From Your Mistakes

miss one's markOriginally published at Everyday Feminism.

Over the years, I have been asked to talk and write on a number of occasions about the notion of allyship and solidarity, about what it means to be an ally, how one goes about effective solidarity work, and how not to be so very terrible at being an ally.

I think this trend of asking people who share my identity about this topic is simultaneously ironic and important.

It’s important because these are 100-level questions, and unless they have explicitly offered themselves as a resource to those of us with privilege, it is not the responsibility of oppressed and marginalized people to be our educators. Those of us who strive for solidary should be willing to put in that emotional labor to help those who share our identity understand some fundamental tenets of ally work.

It’s ironic, though, for two reasons.

First, as much as I can offer from my experience on these topics, the best thing people of any form of identity privilege can do to understand solidarity is to simply listen across difference. If we are willing to listen over time, we will understand pretty well what is expected of us by those with whom we want to act in solidarity.

Second, considering how much I’ve screwed up in my own journey, I don’t always feel super qualified to be offering help to others.

But I suppose in some ways, my mistakes are what make it possible for me to have anything at all to offer other White folks or other men or other able-bodied people; hopefully, my learning can help other people with privilege consider how to strive for more accountable allyship.

So often, our “learning” must come at the expense of marginalized and oppressed people. So hopefully, offering some of the lessons I’ve learned about solidarity from making difficult mistakes can help you consider different ways of being that don’t demand so much from marginalized and oppressed people.

So here are some important lessons I think all people striving for allyship should know – ones I wish I had known so that my mistakes didn’t have to demand hurt or emotional labor from others.

1. The Moment You Think You Have Allyship Figured Out, You’re Going to Fuck Up

Solidarity isn’t a state of being, and “ally” isn’t an identity. There is no point that someone can reach where the work is done.

And even knowing that in theory, there have been times where I have gotten comfortable, where I have felt like I knew it all, and where I was complacent about what solidarity can or should look like.

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3 Examples That Show Even White Privilege Needs to be Viewed Intersectionally

istock_000056951292_mediumOriginally published at Everyday Feminism.

“If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. If you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” —Lilla Watson, Australian Aboriginal activist 

A few years ago, I attended a workshop facilitated by Peggy McIntosh at the annual White Privilege Conference. In the workshop, McIntosh explained that she wished she could go back and rewrite the introduction of “Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack,” her seminal piece on White privilege.

The problem, she explained, is that people tend to treat her piece as a checklist of privileges that every White person experiences – but it’s not. The piece describes the context of herWhite privilege as a White woman with wealth privilege in an institution of higher education.

But privilege doesn’t function as a monolith; White privilege isn’t the same for every White individual and doesn’t function in the same way, to the same degree, for all White people.

However, all White people experience racial privilege. Full stop.

Our privileges, though, are complicated by other aspects of our identity that intersect with our Whiteness.

Intersectionality is a complex idea, but part of it means that when we are discussing someone’s class or ableist oppression, we must consider those things in the context of other areas where they might be marginalized as well as where they might be privileged.

Almost forty years ago, Derrick Bell wrote of the “interest convergence dilemma,” whereby institutional change toward ending racial oppression doesn’t often take place until White people see it in their best interest despite the incredible work of activists of Color.

As a White activist who sees the liberation of those I love, as well as my own liberation, as tied up in realizing intersectional racial justice, what Bell’s work says to me is that I have a responsibility to find new ways of engaging White people, of helping White people understand our own interests in realizing racial justice and in divesting from Whiteness.

And that’s the idea of collective liberation! Everyone with privilege has a choice to divest from systems of privilege and to join movements led by oppressed and marginalized people.

When those movements are intersectional, then working in concert with others means that we are also working for our own liberation.

So toward that end, I want to complicate some of the items from McIntosh’s list, highlighting how those items exist at intersections of identity that mean different things to different White people.

Hopefully this can help us break through some of the defensiveness that comes up in conversations about privilege. Namely, when White folks deflect to aspects of our identity that are marginalized rather than being accountable to our privilege.

Before proceeding, though, I want to briefly note the irony of White people (myself and McIntosh) being centered in conversations about the privileges that are the result of oppression.

If we as White people listened to people of Color, articles like this one simply wouldn’t be necessary. Unfortunately, though, often we as White folks aren’t the best at listening to people of Color, but maybe we will hear things differently from a fellow White person.

Thus, if you’re White, I can’t stress enough how important it is for us to diversify our media consumption to learn from people of Color. But if it helps you to hear me complicate our conversation about privilege, then I hope it inspires you to continue along the path toward more anti-racist ways of being.

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4 Ways the American Dream Is Actually Just Affirmative Action for White People

screen-shot-2015-11-12-at-3-10-59-pmOriginally published at Everyday Feminism.

I once wrote an article on how affirmative action doesn’t actually disadvantage White people – despite how many of us believe the opposite.

And a few members of my family weren’t happy about that article. Quite sure that affirmative action for people of Color is “reverse racism,” they gave me an earful.

In their reaction lies the tremendous irony that hangs over most White opposition to programs designed to help people of Color access the schools and jobs from which they’ve been historically excluded.

After all, while affirmative action programs, which have been shown to help White women more than anyone, are a recent creation, there have been systems and structures designed to benefit White people at the expense of everyone else for hundreds of years.

In fact, that which we often call the “American Dream” is built fundamentally upon violent affirmative action programs for White people.

And I’m not just talking about the overt (though coded) forms of affirmative action that we White folks benefit from today.

The entire history of European settlement in North America is a story of unearned benefit that comes at the expense of people of Color.

This notably sets it apart from formal affirmative action programs for people of Color, such as those in admissions to universities, as they haven’t been proven to systemically disadvantage White people in any way.

To understand the White “American Dream,” though, we need to understand the history of Whiteness and its ever-changing and evolving nature.

As highlighted by scholars like Dr. Jacqueline Battalora and Dr. Nell Irvin Painter, Whiteness didn’t always exist.

In fact, prior to the 1690s, “White” people were unheard of.

Wealthy, land-owning Europeans created the category of Whiteness as a tool to divide poor, light-skinned Europeans from enslaved African people and Indigenous people in North America.

Since that time, it has taken on a life of its own and been embedded in every single structure of the US.

This club, known as Whiteness, was designed to offer advantages, some small and some large, to light-skinned Europeans in exchange for their complicity in the theft of Indigenous land and the enslavement and exploitation of non-White people.

Notably, not all light-skinned Europeans were initially considered White (Italians and the Irish didn’t join the club until well into the 20th century, and European Jews have only recently been able to join).

Whiteness has evolved over time, but its singular aim has been to ensure that certain people (wealthy, White men mostly) hold power built upon the exploitation of people of Color and, to a lesser degree, poor White people.

It’s important, then, that we as White people understand this identity creation story because in this history lies an understanding of the privileges so many of us call the “American Dream” – something disproportionately available to people considered White.

Does this mean that people of Color haven’t realized this “Dream?” No. It just means that this “Dream” has been a nightmare for most people of Color built upon genocide, exclusion, and slavery.

1. White Wealth Is Tied to Land – So White Wealth Is Bound Up in Genocide

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