Baby It’s Cold Outside: A Rapey, Sexual Pressure-Filled Holiday Staple

For as long as I can remember, my favorite Christmas song has always been “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”  I especially love the version from “Elf.”

elf-zooey-deschanel

It has always been such a part of my holiday tradition that I never really thought about it critically.  That is until I was training to be a sexual assault survivor’s advocate.  An article we read about sexual pressure and consent happened to fall right after Thanksgiving, when I usually start listening to terrible Christmas music.  After reading the article, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” came on, and I was shocked!

My realization: This is a song about a sleazy, rapey dude sexually pressuring a woman into staying!!!!!

I mean, LOOK!

Dude is literally grabbing her by the arm and stealing her coat and hat from her!

I am definitely not the first to notice this.  Salon had a great piece from Salon titled, “Is ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ a Date-Rape Anthem?

Well, after reading this piece whereby Rob Delaney attempts to have a dialogue with Katy Perry in “Last Friday Night,” I thought it was time I had a chat with the duo of “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”

Alright, y’all, it’s time we had a conversation…

    • I really can’t stay
    • And girl, if you need to go, you go on ahead and be clear about that.  He needs to listen.
    • I’ve got to go away
    • This evening has been
    • So very nice
    • My mother will start to worry
    • And does she know where you are?  Does anyone? Because Dude is getting a little handsy.
    • My father will be pacing the floor
    • So really I’d better scurry
    • Well maybe just a half a drink more
    • Okay, that’s cool. Thank you for communicating clearly. You always have the right to change your mind, give or withdraw consent.
    • The neighbors might think
    • Hey now, if slut shaming is the issue, don’t worry. What needs to go into your decision is whether you want to stay and get a little frisky. If the neighbors wanna talk, f*ck them.
    • Say, what’s in this drink
  • Baby it’s cold outside
  • No . . . No . . . Your response now is, “Oh, okay.  Well, I would love for you to stay, but if you have to go, let me call you a cab. Or I can give you a ride home!”
  • Baby it’s cold outside
  • Been hoping that you’d drop in
  • I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice
  • Beautiful, what’s your hurry
  • Dude, she said she needs to go. It’s not a hurrying issue.
  • Listen to the fireplace roar
  • Beautiful, please don’t hurry
  • Again with the “hurry!” There shouldn’t have to be any convincing! If she’s DTF, she’s DTF.  If she wants to go, enough with the pressure!
  • Put some music on while I pour
  • Baby, it’s bad out there
  • Dude, you need to talk to your neighbors. Sounds like they could use to hear from the folks at HollaBack.
  • No cabs to be had out there

WOAH!!!! HOLD THE GODDAMN PHONE!!!  Dude, did you put something in her drink?  And your response to her questioning what you put in her drink is to say she can’t get a cab???  Ma’am, if that drink tastes funny, toss it the f*uck out.  We need to call you a cab! Right now!!!

    • I wish I knew how
    • To break the spell
    • That is not a spell!  This is not Harry Potter!  That’s a drug called Rohyphenol, and this sh*t is serious!
    • I ought to say no, no, no, sir
    • At least I’m gonna say that I tried
    • As you should!  You did try!  You said no!  You said you needed to leave!  And now he’s gone and put something in your drink!!
    • I really can’t stay
    • Ahh, but it’s cold outside
    • I simply must go
    • The answer is no
    • This welcome has been
    • So nice and warm
    • My sister will be suspicious
    • My brother will be there at the door
    • My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious
    • Well maybe just a half a drink more
    • At this point, I just have to question your ability to make this decision. If you want another drink, that’s your prerogative, but considering there’s a question about your last drink, are you in a state to be able to consent to anything, even a half a drink?
    • I’ve got to go home
    • Say, lend me your coat
    • You’ve really been grand
    • But don’t you see
    • There’s bound to be talk tomorrow
    • At least there will be plenty implied
    • Again, if this is about slut shaming, you go on ahead and do what you want, but it seems to be that this decision would be made under great duress.
    • really can’t stay
    • Ahh, but it’s cold outside
    • It’s cold out there
    • Well…..I really shouldn’t…alright
    • Ahh, do that again….
  • Your eyes are like starlight
  • I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell
  • Did she ask you to take her hat?  She’s concerned there’s something in her drink, and you’re taking her hat!? I think it’s time to call the cops.
  • Mind if I move closer
  • What’s the sense in hurting my pride?
  • See, now you’re using guilt to pressure her.  Who gives a f*ck about your pride!?
  • Baby don’t hold out
  • Ahh, but it’s cold outside
  • Baby, it’s cold outside
  • Ooh darling, it’s cold outside
  • Okay, I am only going to say this one time.  She said no.  You know what no means, right?  Yeah, it means NO.
  • I’m lucky that you dropped in
  • Look out the window at that storm
  • Man, your lips look delicious
  • You’re just creepy at this point.
  • Waves upon a tropical shore
  • Gosh your lips are delicious
  • Wait, did you just steal a kiss?  I didn’t hear any consent, and everything she’s been saying tells me that she’s not ready for that.
  • Never such a blizzard before
  • Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there
  • It’s up to your knees out there
  • I thrill when you touch my hand
  • How can you do this thing to me?
  • Think of my life long sorrow
  • If you caught pneumonia and died
  • QUIT GUILTING HER!  What, are you going to use “blue balls” next?
  • Get over that hold out
  • So you’ve stopped the sly convincing, and now you’re just demanding she get over her desire to leave?  Dude, you are a bad person!
  • Ahh, but it’s cold outside
  • Brr its cold…
  • Cant you stay awhile longer baby
  • Make it worth your while baby

At this point, I can’t help but wonder if we need some bystander intervention. Ma’am, you’ve been taking about things in your drink, and after resisting OVER and OVER and OVER, dude didn’t listen. He needs to understand that wearing down a woman’s will is not an acceptable way to achieve “consent.” That is not, in fact, consent. Enough!

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5 thoughts on “Baby It’s Cold Outside: A Rapey, Sexual Pressure-Filled Holiday Staple

  1. I realize the guy’s patter is lame at best, but isn’t it possible that it can be performed in this day and age as a lady just being coy but in total control of the situation?

    • Everything else aside…. Did you miss the part about slipping something in her drink? I don’t call that being in total control of the situation.

  2. I have been thinking this for years.

  3. Reblogged this on I'm Just Sayin'… and commented:
    Seriously people, STOP PLAYING THIS SONG!

  4. […] the song, continue to infantilize women. Many of these people call themselves feminists. And they hate, hate, hate Baby It’s Cold Outside, and actually anything that is playful or […]

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